the two glove compartments aren't the surprise, though they are cool.

ta-da!

That is, indeed, a cucumber in the glove compartment. Why would someone choose this spot for one lone cucumber, which, when separated from its brothers in their grocery bag or picnic basket, was bound to be forgotten? Was it being hidden from ravenous on-the-go snackers? Punished for the non-crime of being so refreshing and crunchy? Or perhaps just a gift from the previous eco-friendly drivers for our choice to go green?

Mystery + Eco-Trendy Surprise Snacktimes.

I guess that would be Heukuppe.

This charming homespun notice can be found in the window of Harriet’s Kitchen on the Upper West Side of NYC. It boasts that not only is Harriet’s the purveyor of “maybe” the “best effing burger in New York”, but that said burger is companied by no less than a “small Alp” of fries.

Assuming this sign’s author is referring to an Alpine peak, those fries are copious indeed. Even the smallest among them (Heukuppe, located in Austria) boasts an elevation of 2,007 meters. This sign, however, doesn’t refer to the smallest Alp, but merely to a small Alp, meaning that these french fries, heaped together, could reach an elevation of 3,002 meters (the height of Catinaccio/Rosengarten of Italy) or more!

Exactly how many fries constitutes a small Alp? There are so many questions to consider. Is the side-order in question comprised of steak fries, which can reach almost an inch in width, or the much skinnier but often longer shoestring variety to which your Intrepid Detective is partial? Does Harriet promise a potato pile to match the square footage (or meter-age) of a particular Alp, or merely its height?

Mystery + Topography + Snacks.

problem solved!

Find a delightful compendium of mysterious repairs and goofy genius at There, I Fixed It. The impromptu problem-solving ranges from the sublimely simple to the probably dangerous to the just plain practical. What duct-tape-loving Muse is speaking to us in these moments of crafty inspiration? (Hint: It’s probably MacGyver.)

Mystery + The Enduring Legacy of MacGyver.

bananiraffe

The giraffe: How many renderings of this most peaceable of animals can one person, armed only with an internet connection and highly developed sense  of whimsy, amass? Thanks to the intrepid soul at OneMillionGiraffes, we’re going to find out!

Mystery + Art + Zoological Study.

(PS: My office-supply-and-duck-enhanced contribution can be found here.)

(update: eep! look!)

triumph!

The mystery is twofold:

1. WHY?

2. How can your Intrepid Detective, a chest hair-free woman, acquire this look for herself? She often find herself wishing (in her arctically air-conditioned office, say, or at the advent of a cool breeze) for a nice cozy pair of nipple-warmers. This fellow never has such a problem!

Mystery + Practical Styling Strategy.

(via Your Baby is an Asshole.)

Where are the whirls?

Commodities (under which my company may be registered as selling in Virginia):

• Barge Maintenance and Repair
• Bra Clasps, Replacement
• Zoo Animals
• Creepers
• Misc. 18th Century Reproduction Goods
• Seafood, Freeze Dried (Not Entrees)
• Miscellaneous Services, No. 1
• Date And Time Machines And Parts
• Headbands, Installed
• Eye, Ear, Nose, And Throat Preparations
• Frozen Semen
• Fidelity And Surety
• Fish Locators And Shockers
• Whirls
• Goats
• Mincemeat
• Broomcorn
• Nipple Pails

How much does a little “surety” go for these days? And does it come in a fancy box? Mystery + Christmas List.

"To the tall bald man with glasses and a little hat, who followed me out of here (the cafe, not the bathroom) yesterday (5/4) seemed to want to ask something but didn't: 646-685-1333"

I saw this note in the bathroom of the Hungarian Pastry Shop last night, and was curious about so many things: Who was this man? What did he want to ask? Why was his hat so remarkably small? How annoyed was the guy waiting to pee while I spent ten minutes taking pictures of bathroom grafitti?

Mystery + Potential Indie Romcom Adventures.

(This and other pastry thoughts can be found here, including my favorite.)

hello there.

See here and here for engrossing collections of medical and anatomical oddities, both real and (possibly) apocryphal. Joanna of Morbid Anatomy, their photographic collector, asks

“Who are these private collectors, and what sort of treasures do they possess? How might their methods of displaying collections differ from institutional approaches? Are we reaching a historical moment similar to the pre-museum era of private cabinets, in which the most interesting artifacts are now in private rather than public hands?”

Mystery + Freakshow + Gloss of Highbrow Scientific Inquiry.

(Morbid Anatomy via bioephemera)

what are you hungry for this morning?

Admittedly, this isn’t that mysterious–”scorn” is actually, probably, “scone”. What does merit some wonder, however, is the possible flavor of scorn: sweet, like a donut? Buttery, like a croissant? Shockingly caloric, like a muffin? And is $1.25 too much to pay for a heaping helping of self-hatred first thing in the morning? Mystery.

note the salutation!

Who are these gentlemen, and why am I receiving their twenty-year-old document? Which was originally sent, charmingly, on goldenrod paper? Mystery.